Lindsay Lohan To Drop The 'Lohan'

From today forward, the actress formerly known as Lindsay Lohan will go only by Lindsay. According to PopEater, Lindsay's mother, Dina, says that Lindsay will join the ranks of Madonna, Cher and Saddam on the list of people known by only their first name.
That's a bold move, and by bold move, I mean totally ridiculous. She can't just claim such a common name. Madonna, Usher, Fergie, Prince, Bob the crazy guy who yells at himself to get pumped up before he uses the bench press at the gym--those are all names fit to be claimed for one-name status. It's an elite class, and a really tough sell for a name that ranks 524 among the most popular in the U.S. (Lindsey is 326). Maybe she should just start with a symbol and make a case for the single name later. How about !%%! surrounded by a trapezoid?
The ultimate decision on the name will be made by the Council of Show Business Single-Name Status, and it's sure to be a no ma'am! Really though, Lindsay Lohan will probably soon be known only by a set of numbers on an orange jumpsuit.